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Star Wars Sucks!   -   2002/06/03Viewed 172 times this month, last update: 2004/11/13

Why do people like George Lucas, or his crappy films?
The first three Star Wars (not Episode 1, etc, the 80's films) were OK, cheesy, but OK. These latest two are just awful!
Episode II, Attack of the Clones was:
  • Special effects
  • Crappy acting
  • Natalie Portman
  • Special effects
  • Crappy acting
  • Natalie Portman
  • Natalie Portman
  • Special effects
  • ... and two minues of plot at the very end of the movie.
The best part of the two and half hours I spent in the theatre was the 3 minute "Matrix Reloaded" preview, which almost put me into convulsions.

Michael (2002-06-03): You're not alone in your comments. I've been trying to decide whether or not to spend the time (and money) sitting through it. So far, I've convinced myself that it's just not worth it -- especially with all of the marketing collateral supporting the release! I think it's time for a new set of heros. Either that, or have Woody Allen direct Episode III...

Erik (2002-06-03): I'm glad you're on my side. I think more and more people
are becomming disenfranchised my Lucas' over marketing and
terrible storytelling.

craig (2003-03-15): does anyone know what happened to ol' george? i mean, i feel like i'm watching sequels to the "never ending story movies" not star wars, in the least!

Erik (2003-03-16): I'm not a huge fan of the first three star wars movies, but these last two do just SUCK!

Paul g (2003-04-02): When I read the segments of script that was published on TFN, I was very excited. I imagined better timing,camera angles and MUCH better acting. It's not just that GL has forgotten how to write dialogue, it's that Robin Gurland cannot hire an actor on anything but their physical suitability for the role.

Hayden and Natalie flounced their way through the script as if it were a first grade school play,no inflection, no judgement, no humor, no humanity. I have no idea how anyone else could have given a worse performance and not been cut out of the film.
Natalie has been great in many other films, but she is just terrible in these. It's hard to believe that Carrie Fisher was the same age when she did her Star Wars features. At least you felt she WAS the character, and made the best of her dialogue.

Noah (2003-07-22): I agree completely. I find it hard to believe that Star Wars still has a following. It is impossible to convince 95% of Star Wars fans that the new movies lack something that the old ones had.

No one can deny that the plot is extremely flat. Unfortunately it is the same Star Wars fans that have killed off what might otherwise be good movies. The 'fans' have voted with their dollars and support for substandard movies. Why should anyone try to pour out their heart and soul in making a good movie with a good story (see LOTR:FOTR dvd extras to see what this means) when passionless eye candy sells just as well.

It's a shame people don't know a good movie from a bad one. All anyone has to do is put the words 'Star Wars' on something and it can do no wrong.

STARWARSRULES (2003-08-27):
if you hate star wars so much why don't you write a letter of complaint to George Lucas, you IDIOTS!!!!!

Erik (2003-08-27): If you love star wars so much why don't you marry it!?

Misha (uzi2001@rambler.ru) (2003-08-30): I LOVE STAR WASR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
star wars (80`s ones) are just the shit and i consider them to be the best movies ever made) the new ones are pretty cool too.
LONG LIVE STAR WARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Misha (2003-08-30): STAR WARS!!!

Chris (2003-09-10): How can a movie with "war" in the title not depict what really happens in war? Star Wars sucks.

Kindigulous (2003-09-11): Frodo Lives!

picard (2003-09-28): Star trek OWNS star wats

JRB (2003-12-08): I found it difficult to judge the movies (Episode I and II) when they first came out. I saw the original movies when I was 12 to 18 years of age and looked at them through much younger eyes. Where the first movies had some questionable acting at times, the last 2 were absolutely horrid. They are a pale attempt at reviving a great storyline. I did not pay to see the 2nd remake, I downloaded it off the internet and hated it. George Lucas has seen enough of my money over the years.

Derro (2003-12-17): Ye Behold George Locust's epic movie STORE WARS 2 ATTACK OF THE CLOWNS what a joke. (p.s I changed Lucas to Locust because George is a money hungry locust)

izzy (2004-02-11): Why can't GL just give it up? I mean, there is no way he can save this trilogy. If he had any sense, or care for the originals, he would just stop making the third movie, tell everyone who use to be a fan of starwars that we were all punk'd and the real movies are coming out soon with Peter Jackson as the director. That would be the only way george lucas could possibly save the starwars integrity. unfortunately, me marrying britney spears next week is far more likely to happen than that.

Last Call (2004-02-22): I'll first admit that I did like the original trilogy however, the new Star Wars suck so bad I was ashamed that I paid money to see them. Brutal acting too much crappy speacial effects and shity acting (Jake Lloyd, liam Neason) anyway keep up the good work and countiue to bash George Lucas and his terrible movies.

Bill Murray (2004-03-01): Oh, Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars
If they should bar Wars, please let them stay

Wookie Wonka (2004-03-02): Whereas the first Star Wars movies were original, humorous, excting and... Han Solo, the last two have been dry, recycled and... Jar Jar. Ok, so the second one didn't have Jar Jar, but I almost wished it had; anything to save us from Hayden. And the special effects look worse on screen than the effects in the first movie. I've seen fan films that were more interesting than this computer generated, weak-plotted, unedited rubbish. They should call him Boy George Lucas, cause Star Wars is gay

Andy (2004-03-04): I saw pics of the new DVD boxset. Someone in France posted them. Sweet stuff.

Kindigulous (2004-03-04): It goes like this: 1) Release the "original" set in a box set. 2) Release the "enhanced" set in a box set. 3) Release the "original" set with special features and deleted scenes. 4) Release a 30 Year Anniversary edition of the "enahnced" set with the same special features and deleted scenes, but different packaging.

Then, maybe...just maybe...release the individual films on DVD. Money. All I'd like to have is the first movie WITHOUT all the enhancements and special features. So much for consumer choice! *sigh*

Erik (2004-03-04): Mike, you beat me to the cynicism. Nicely done.

Lukashastogo (2004-03-06): Ok, it's official, George Lucas has lost my following. Did anyone see that smug bastard talk about why he would not release the real originals on dvd. Someone from that company needs to pull a Roy Disney and limit that dictators power. I mean, Lukas would be nothing without us fans, and it's a shame he's turn his back on all of us.

Ellie (2004-03-10): yes it is true the star wars movies are terrible all of them!

Foebane (2004-03-12): Hey, come on! Star Wars IS George Lucas' own creation, so he has the right to do what he likes with it. Granted, I don't like Menace or Clones that much compared to the original trilogy, but the way THAT trilogy is now is how George wanted it, but couldn't achieve the first time round. I actually prefer the updated trilogy to the ones that first came out, so there! :P

Kindigulous (2004-03-12): I liked the original trilogy the way it was before he enhanced it. The first one was very course and dark. Darth Vader was lean and mean. Of course, everyone dressed like ABBA back then -- even Rush dressed that way on 2112. I give credit where credit is due. I enjoyed THX 1138, American Graffiti, and Star Wars. However, I also think that a little fame and money makes one a little less critical about later creative works. He made a name for himself already -- what other milestone is there? He's not Peter Jackson; he's George Lucas. Star Wars still has a place in my heart, just not the latest trilogy.

Fedd (2004-04-03): I can't believe that sorry bastard isn't realeasing the original trilogy. Does he really believe those crap special editions and Episode 1 and 2 are better than the originals?? What a pitiful fool he has become. I think it's safe to say that I, or any true Star Wars fan, would punch GL's freaking teeth out if we ever got the chance...

Kindigulous (2004-05-19): /. has an article that suggests the name of Lucas' new file will be titled, "Star Wars: The Birth of an Empire" and will feature a lightsabre duel between Obi-Wan and Annikan...riding surfboard-like devices over lava. Hmmm...

Do any of you recall how disappointed you were when you saw the sequel to "Highlander" and the scene within it that included those levitating skateboards? C'mon...you must remember. Well, it was disappointing for me.

I hope this rumor isn't true. I hope that there is less special effects and a better storyline.

Erik (2004-05-19): No offense Mike, but I think you might be missing the current trend in movies, and in George Lucas specifically...

Kindigulous (2004-05-19): I hear what yer sayin... Man, I must be getting old. I'm seven years older than Rush!

anonymous (2004-05-19): Lava surfboards... Lame! After episode 1, I have not bothered to see any more of the new Star Wars films. In fact, now the originals are "enhanced" too, I've lost all interest in the old ones too.

Original Jedi (2004-05-20): I liked the original Star Wars movies immensely. They were very entertaining and original. When the special editions came out in theatres, I did not like the enhancements, but did not feel that they detracted too much from the original movies. But, my suspicion was that the enhancements themselves were to be an indication of the quality of his upcoming movies. I was right. The new Star Wars Movies (Phantom & Clones) are crappy B movies only worthy of cable television. George Lucas is senile and should be barred from releasing new films or tampering with his originals.

Star Farce (2004-05-20): George Lucas seems to think that enhanced means adding cheesy CGI graphics in place of more realistic and convincing puppets and models. Please make him stop.

Anakin Solo (2004-06-09): Star wars is awesome!

DarthBoba (2004-06-26): Hey all, check out this hilarious site: www.ihatethenewstarwars.blogspot.com. This is a new site, and the guy is just hilarious.

dawn and family (2004-06-29): my entire famile likes star wars. My husband and I grew up with it and now our children also enjoy watching it. Mabye what you have forgotten is the possibility in childhood that "mabye it could happen" and how exciting it would be. Its just a fictional story that stirs the child in all of us.True the latest episodes are not fitting of the first three and I feel that takes away from the awe of it all, but with all the new things happening in graphics isnt always a good thing. I believe george should of kept it the way it was instead of keeping up with the times.

Erik (2004-06-29): Dawn, I don't know if your comment was directed to me, or to another commentor, but: I have not lost the "maybe it could happen" mentality. I'm a devout fan of Star Trek, Farscape, and many other (science) fiction series, movies and books. I do like the first three Star Wars films, (to a point), but in my rants about how much Star Wars sucks, I'm mostly referring to the last three.


Darth Reefer (2004-09-02): The reason the new movies weren't as good it because George Lucas became too powerfull. Now that he has complete creative controll and owns everyone and everything around him there are no disenting opinions. On the original trilogy I'm sure he offered up some bad ideas, but it was a collabrative effort and there were people there to say "this doesn't work". Today there is no one in that position, they are too afraid they will be fired or that their career won't move along. In the end money is what corrupted these new movies, and really crappy acting. I still think that "Revenge of The Sith" with be surpisingly good - longest space battle of all six movies - that'll be worth seeing.

batty13 (2004-09-30): its insane that the the underlining theme in the first star wars was turning from anger and greed. That the power of technology corrupts. Darth vadar become a mindless machine, he was the the frankenstein of the future where the self or the soul of the individual (what lucas use to be all about) is replaced with the new technologies. He has become that which he was against. He no longer expresses the older themes and ideals. Maybe he's a clone...but i agree with agent smith in that Im not going pay to see it.

DJ Atlantean (2004-10-12): I didn't mind the Special editions that much initially, but sticking Hayden Cristiansen's puss on Anakin at the end of Return of the Jedi was nothing short of sacrilegious.

DieGeorge (2004-10-31): Look I am sick of all these people saying that the special editions are the way that George "intended" them all to be. Thats crap!!! And it's a proven fact, George himself proved that again when he made Han and Greedo shoot at the same time this time around. The fact of the matter is that George doesn't know what he wants. He is a joke now. He has NEVER been a good director and that was proven by Empire and Jedi being better films. He can't cast actors and he is stuck on CGI. I hate star wars now. Any magic I felt as a kid is long lost. Episode I killed it. I will not pay my hard earned money on going to see episode III or on the DVD's. Not only has he robbed me time and time again from my wallet, but he has robbed me of sharing something magical with my kids when I have them one day. He is a Joke. And I have to agree with Darth Reefer...no one that works for him has any balls. If they did then MAYBE just MAYBE we wouldn't be stuck with the crap he has spun out the last 7 years. Oh and one more thing...that grinding, muffled scream, loud rumble you hear is Sir Alec Guinness spinning in his grave from having that Frankenstein Hayden Cristiansen super imposed beside him for eternity. HE HAS NO PLACE BESIDE AN ACTOR OF ALEC GUINNESS' CALABOR. Well I could go on for days on how much I hate Lucas and how much he has destroyed a cheerished part of my childhood...but instead I have to go back to work.

lololo (2004-11-13): Ok... That's true... The new trilogy is not pretty good and, to a certain point, make the first one looks bad; but when I hear commentary from somebody who said he got an orgasm when he looked at the Matrix reloaded preview (and THAT is a FUCKING BAD movie...), I wonder what kind of guy can put is opinion on that page...

And I think its sad that so much crapy loosers can have a way to express themselves...

Tinister (2005-02-18): Star Wars fanatics are pathetic. They can't accept that the EPI and EPII suck because that would mean that they would have to accept that their lives suck. There's even idiots who would defend the new movies by saying "but the original 3 movies weren't so good either"! Pathetic!

Captain retard (2005-03-12): Screw all of you! Star Wars rocks and while I agree that the prequel trilogy isn't as good as the originals, I still like them. Especially episode 1. Death to all star wars haters and Lucas assasins. I hope I spelled assasins correctly.

UsedtobeaSWfan (2005-03-20): Portman sucks as Amidala. She is not even all that good-looking, and she sure as hell can't act. Maybe she could when she was little, but she has lost both her talent and her looks during the past ten years. Lucas should have cast somebody else. Episodes I and II were just crummy, but her terrible acting made them almost unbearable.

returnofprincessleia (2005-05-09): I'm only 17 and I can understand that the new SW movies completely desecrate the originals. While to me the special effects in the originals are somewhat lacking, I realize that plot is much more important. Lucas is simply trying to compensate for a lack of plot with a bombardment of graphics. Natalie Portman isn't the crux of the acting problem, it's Hayden Christiansen. Lucas seems like he's just in it for the money now, catering to the popular fad today of senseless action and hyped up special effects (the Matrix movies are a great example). I'd have to agree with AGENT SMITH LIVES and advocate a boycott of the third movie, though I myself will eventually see it through friends of mine who have no taste when it comes to films (for continuity's sake).

electra (2005-05-31): you people are insaine the star wars saga is awsome I dont see why you people hate it so much

DukeStar (2005-06-02): LMAO hey b4 star wars came out the best space movies were model crafts on strings. i bet in 30 years that they will b saying that the matrix is crappy because then they will have new technology

Agent 001 (2005-06-02): how many of you have seen all 6 if you have then it cant b that crappy

Erik (2005-06-03): Agent 001, you're quite right. I have seen all six, and I'm sure I've seen the first three several times each. Perhaps the title to this article should be "The new Star Wars films fail miserably to live up to their hype or the original films."

Tinister (2005-06-04): Don't believe the reviews. Episode III - in a lot of ways - is the worst of the three recent movies. George Lucas is a huge hack. He caters to the lowest common denominator - those SW fans that will just eat up whatever crap he shits out. What kind of a challenge is that for someone who is supposed to be a "creative genius". He caters to those idiots because he knows that as a director - he sucks.

anonymous (2005-06-04): No longer should Lucas' FX be deemed "Special". Special FX implies a certain fine touch, a sensitivity, an ART for crying out loud... What Lucas gives us is ham-fisted CGI in a lame attempt to cover up a piss-poor plot. SW 1-3 sucks.

Charli (2005-09-05): i love star wars i dont see why people hate it i mean its a classic i found epesode 3 really sad i mean the jedi council were against anakin so it like gave palpatine the perfect chance to turn him evil and anakin just turned evil so he could save padme but then he ended up killing her but he didnt mean it whats rong with that plot as for Lucas he's the coolest so leave him alone!! id love to have a lightsaber fight how cool was the lightsaber fight in ep 3 that choreography must have taken ages!

Tinister (2005-09-18): George Lucas is a powerful dumbass. He had all the money, resources, and talent to make three truly memorable movies and instead he made three cheezeball C Movies that will be forgotten within 5 years. The original trilogy had it's bad points, but at least the story was focused and laid out well enough to keep the world entranced for 20 years. What a waste. George Lucas sucks the big one.

Tinister (2005-09-20): My friend showed me the "improved" seen at the end of the ROTJ DVD. Man. George Lucas is retarded.

Wandin Salkaot (2005-12-13): POWER TO THE EMPIRE, POWER TO LUCAS!!

Wandin Salkaot (2005-12-13): Oh, and whoever thinks lucas is a dumbass is a dumbass =)

Luke Krauszowski (2006-01-05): Hey, Charli learn what a damn run-on sentence is goddammit. And Wandin Salkalot, that's a really creative insult to whoever thinks that Lucas is a dumbass, I commend your genius as the greatest in all of the galaxy. The thing is, Lucas got so full of himself because of the success of the original trilogy, that he decided to just take a shit on a stack of papers and call it a damn script. Let's face it, episodes 1-3 aren't Star Wars, I refuse to group that trio of fecal material along with one of the greates movie trilogies of all time. Lucas decided to completely destroy the image of the Jedi by changing them from wise and powerful, almost wizard-like warriors, into wimp ass acrobats who don't know jack shit. He threw so much CGI on the screen that I thought I was watching a cartoon instead of a live-action movie. And what the hell is it with him fucking up the original trilogy anyways? I guess he hates the fact that there was still something in existance with his name on it that didn't suck total donkey balls. I'm not a Star Wars nerd by any means, but I definately used to love it..."used to" being the key phrase.

Toad (2006-01-11): Dear Misha, GET A FREAKIN LIFE!!

Matthew Lane (2006-07-30): I agree that the prequel trilogy isn't as good as the original trilogy, but I still love the films. I was lucky as a little kid (a few years before the prequels came out) to see the originals before the new ones! I loved the originals and I loved the prequels and right after seeing the TPM I began to put everything together in my head. I would think, how does this kid my age become Darth Vader? So as the originals gave a sense of wonder to the kids of the late 70's and early 80's, I believe the prequels give that to kids now!

starwars fighter (2006-11-02): hey to all of you, sw kicks ass but i have to admit sw e1 did suck balls (the rest were awsome :)totally)but he made 4-6 first and he didnt no wat to do so he ade a crap movie because he didnt no any better and i for one am going to see them again and again and again all 6.......maybe not e1

T-Bone ********* (2006-11-24): The latest movies by lucas arts I hate! They take the fun out of cheesy action. Like the part with Luke vs. the Sarlak pit was(You have to admit it) was pretty cool.

someone (2006-12-21): i really liked the original trilogy.maybe not to much for rotj.it was okay though.but it could have been better.i just love the sw couples!and the prequel trilogy was alright.but i hate tpm.it was...my god.so boring.i couldn't even sit through the whole thing.but my favorite is esb.to me,that was the best!

thefingermaster (2007-01-03): ********* (2006-11-24): The latest movies by lucas arts I hate! They take the fun out of cheesy action. Like the part with Luke vs. the Sarlak pit was(You have to admit it) was pretty cool.

Darth bane (2007-11-01): I just read there is a starwars tv show in production. sounds cool right. Wrong there will be no Jedi in the show. Hey george dumd ass the whole cool part of starwars is guess what the jedi you fool. Why not take the animators from clone wars cartoons and redue the kevin aderson books. what a good idea. wake up lucas you should be kicked out of the 501st for being an idiot.

gaytomboy (2007-11-08): the originals were kids' movies, fairy tales. now that the original fans are all grown up, they expect the new movies to be adult movies. if you watch the movies with kids, you understand why the movies are the way they are. however, i'm still disappointed with the stiff acting, due mostly to all the green-screen work.

forget star craps (2007-11-11): the original movies is okay...but the new stuffs just below average...what the dumb alien with long ears...that was used to sell toys to kids???? since star wars movies is over. lucas trying to make some money some how by selling ideas to LEGO, blah blah. if you have some humor watch MAD TV on George Duuuffus

rsn (2007-11-16): Ep 1-3: The dark side is clouding the plot.

JL PUMHREY (2008-01-13): You're all a bunch of wankers, and need to relax. The world is a better place for the prequels, just as they are for the original tilogy. Just be thankful the only man who could bring you more Star Wars did. Pearls before swine.

Young George lucas (2008-01-20): Episode III is the worst Star Wars film of all time.
Episode III made me like Episode I and Episode II more, after see it. I hate all the Prequels but Episode III is the king of my hate. STAR WARS FANS just because some of the designs looking like the OT designs, does not mean it is better.
Here is a website tells the truth about EP III: http://www.chefelf.com/starwars/ep3_1-10.php.

OT fan (2008-02-02): The Stars Wars saga would've been just fine if the prequels didn't exists. At least the mysteries and wonder of the Star Wars Universe would have been preserved intact. George Lucas is more of a corporation now than an artist. Prequel trilogy pales in comparison to either the LOTR or even the Matrix trilogy. These new movies are mostly lame and boring vehicles to market the Star Wars Universe to a new generation (aka KIDS) with a few cool parts to skip around to to show off your home theater. As standalone films, they just don't have the direction, intensity, or realism that the originals did. Money and power do indeed corrupt.

Griddle (2008-08-15): Lucas has ZERO respect for the Star Wars universe. Think about this: Why would a young Anakin build C-3PO? How does it make sense that this young kid would build a PROTOCOL DROID? HUH???????? Doesn't it make MORE SENSE that he would have built R2-D2? R2 is a droid designed for starship navigation. Think about it. Lucas shouldn't be allowed into the Star Wars universe any more. He only does damage. Look at how he killed Boba Fett! He just doesn't care. He just doesn't get it.

den (2008-10-21): starwars sucks. thats the dead truth.there is some dumb kid in my class and he talks about starwars alot.every time he starts talking about it i always say just shutup no one cares you dumb starwars geek

Mad Dog (2009-02-08): Lucas is a bastard. Finally puts out the original unscrewed-with trilogy and can he be bothered to make it DVD quality? If even for the sake of historical film preservation? No. Of course not.

Laserdisc copies. Freakin' LASERDISC copies. Can't even do a decent transfer. It's the whole reason I bought the damn 6-set (should have done research first).

George Lucas is a giant pickled ass, and if I ever meet him face to face I'm going to kick him once in each nut for screwing up the originals and for giving us the prequel abominations.

It's worth the jail time. Come on, you know you'd be tempted to do it, too.

Freakin' laserdisc. What an asswipe.

Kindigulous (2009-03-19): SPOILER ALERT: In SW: ROTJ, Boba Fett was imposter by the name of Private Wilhelm. The real Boba Fett wouldn't have feared the Sarlaac Pit. The real Boba Fett was none other than Vizzini.

Daishi (2009-08-13): STARWARS SUCKS SO HARD!

Dennis (2010-05-06): Yea I think the new star wars was ummm...bad! Check out redlettermedia. He has some youtube reviews on it that are interesting.

austin (2010-09-08): i'm i really really supost to believe that a bunch of storm troopers killed the jedi's i mean come on!!

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